Fear and love

I’m gonna go into a long ass shit time. Yeah, shit time living with some shit ass idiots. A hibernation of shit. It’s gonna be hard like taking a shit after one full month of no shit.

I asked myself : “Do I fear the future ?” Strangely (but surely) enough, the answer is :

I don’t fear the future. In my full-of-uncertainty life, I have not ever feared the future. In fact, I don’t fear anything. I don’t fear death. Ah, many people don’t. But Hunger ? I think very few people doesn’t fear hunger. And Waiting ? Waiting for long ass shit time with no certainty when bad thing will stop ? How many people doesn’t fear that ? Abandonment ? Misunderstanding ? Loneliness ? Loneliness, lol.

Actually I do fear snake, but that doesn’t count cause we’re talking about life in general here.

Life in general is become trivial.

I hold him high, above my head. He looks like an angel. From his beautiful smile, a little drop of saliva often coming down because he is teething. I hold him high and he smiles at me, as he always does. That’s not trivial and I already have that. It’s worth a sky. The world, not worth a dime. Even he will grow and change, maybe someday he won’t love me anymore, maybe someday I won’t love him anymore, but that moment – that I already have and that heavenly smile will never, ever be lost.

Nothing is warmer than him sleeping on my shoulder. I hold him tight, this is the heartbeat of the beginning.

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